11 honest ways to not marry your enemy

Our society is in total disarray today, not because of any other fact, but precisely traceable to homes, upbringings or marriage institutions which had laid wrong foundations. The family unit is the fulcrum or microcosm of the larger society, states and nations.

Once a marriage is contracted between a man and a woman, the next generation that will either build or destroy humanity is being created. 

Come to look at it very critically. Some marriages produce tyrants, fraudsters, armed robbers, drug addicts and prostitutes etc from a wrong union. Yet, some are producing presidents, leaders, inventors, religious leaders and good people who affect the world for good as products from a good union.


Its been on record on a higher scale that most married partners are not happy in their marriages, while divorces are also on alarming rate. Like every thing about life, there must be simple, yet secret principles that must be followed. Nothing is more special in this life than having a very caring, loving, happy and friendly spouse. It makes the old grow younger, make the sick get healed faster than expected, even without medication and brings strong spiritual sexuality that results in peak performance in your career.

In this age of social media, this institution called marriage is becoming more complex. We are in a generation that is wired differently in terms of sexuality, chemistry, emotion, spirituality and values. Things are going wrong on daily basis. This is why most marriages and weddings done in fun fares are making it to the courts between months to years as they collapse with once happy couples turning to enemies, killing and unleashing violence against each other. It’s a blame game.

However, there is another group of married people who are alive and well. They are at the top of life. They understand how to be in marriage. They are alive, enjoying blissfully this institution, thanking their maker, praising each other from their hearts and not their heads. They are on top of their game and happy inside. 

When your marriage is right, all other areas of your life has a near 100% of being right.

But many are married to their enemies today. Man's first enemy is in his household says the holy book. Single women of over 30 years of age mostly divorces who out of lack of knowledge or being ignorant and patient left their once thriving homes live with regrets today because of outside or external influences. Likewise, so many men are in the same category due to pride and wrong influences. What a tragedy!

How then can you know if you are about to marry your enemy, if you are presently dating or how can you know you are already married to an enemy. I mean the wrong person.
Let me state that some have openly and blindly married their enemies hoping for change or better marriage. Some have also circumstantially changed midway in their marriage because of wrong associations.

Depending on who is involved, broken down marriages and the ones going through challenges could be turned into a successful one if you also master the art and science of people. I mean, understanding and learning how to turn enemies to friends.

It is very important that you learn and know the difference between friends, allies and enemies in your relationship.

1 Your Spouse does not have respect for your father and mother.

If you are dating and your partner does not have respect for his or her parents, it is likely he or she will not respect your parents too. Don't expect her to change after marriage. If you are married already and your spouse does not have respect for your parents, you know he or she is an enemy. Your parents are the source of your coming to earth. Therefore even if they are bad or not likable, it does not matter. The Bible says honour your father and mother so your days on earth might be long.

A man or woman who doesn’t have respect for parents has a higher percentage tendency not to respect other people in the society.


2 He does not have love or regard for your relatives.

You are not going to have perfect in-laws. But you must be able to accommodate, tolerate and relate with them with love and regards. A wife who would openly fight, insult or abuse the brothers or sisters of her husband, quarrel with them and would not want them near her home is already on her own when trouble looms. Same is with man.
And while dating, you must observe and correct or live with this or stop that relationship.

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3. Your partner runs his or her life by someone else.

You are dating that Lady or that guy and for every step he or she is going take in life issues and affairs with you, she consult or take high percentage advise from her friends or sister and act only on their opinion. Know that she or he is an enemy to self and to your relationship. There is a lot of married mama's boy out there whose marriages are in total disarray. They want to buy a car, go for vacation, or take any decision with their spouse, they consult their mother first for her opinion and whatever she says is the final decision.

A married woman who takes order from her father, mother or sister instead of taking decision with her partner is still "unmarried" because that relationship is heading for doom.

4. You are dating or married to a sniper.

You are dating that lady or guy and he/she is actually discussing all your home secrets with known or unknown contacts to you. All her discussions with the contacts are toxic, inimical to the progress of your relationship or future. Or you are married and your partner takes all secrets to an outsider without your knowledge all geared towards negative. 
Most women today are becoming enemies to their relationships by falling and suffering from this high sniper habits and once thriving marriages are packing and falling like stack of cards. Some even confide more in toxic religious “leaders” than their partners.

A married woman and her husband plans for business and planned to get a loan. After agreeing, the wife starts a reportorial conversation with her younger sister on social media messenger secretly and the sister tells her not to agree to their discussions and agreement with the husband.

When you discover by accident or uncover sniper acts of your partner while dating, know she will be a great enemy to your marriage.  If you discover this while married, you will need to take steps to deal with the situation.

Your can also read

22 things to do when your spouse, friend or relative upset you and how to overcome sadness



5. Gossiping 

Not all ladies gossips and not only ladies gossips. Men do. A gossip is likely to be a talkative. And a talkative will not know when he leaks his secret. A man who talks too much, run down others, say bad about his friends or bring heads together in conflict with careless talks and boast much about himself will pose a great enemy to his marriage.
Treat gossiping as a sickness and find a lasting solution to it before it will ruin your relationship. Marriages are breaking down these days alarmingly because of gossip mills. Unfortunately, a gossip never gossip for the good reasons but for wrong ones. God gave you one mouth and two ears so you can listen more and talk less.


6. Lack of self discipline.

A man or woman who lacks self discipline is already an enemy to his or her relationship. Most lack of self discipline manifests itself in excesses in eating, drinking intoxicating beverages and in sex. Go to homes, marriages, dating relationships that are all disjointed and you will see men who are addicted to drinking every night, women who go back to have sex by influence from their ex lovers and turning into sex perverts and for money, etc.

A man or woman who is not disciplined will rather want anything through short cuts. They don’t have time for delayed gratifications.

You can also read 

46 Truth Every Woman Must Know About Sex, Men, Love and Relationship: A guide for single and married




7. Impatient and non tolerant partner

Marriage is an institution that comes with challenges universally.  These may range from financial, health, emotional etc. A man who is not patient could want to make money quick to be like his mates and satisfy his lover by going to steal. 
I was taken aback once I met a woman who was very hostile and intolerant, and impatient to her husband who had stroke. She will not help her husband to the toilet, talk to him anyhow, and became hostile to the sick man, all these led to the husband dying. She was a great enemy.

A woman who wants her lover or husband to bring money home, no matter the source of the money is already an enemy. And lots of these abound everywhere in our new society.

8. Sex pervert and nymphs.

You are dating a guy or lady and he or she wants sex all the time. You are in trouble.  Sex is spiritual and for a purpose. However, nymphs and perverts could recklessly want to have it anytime and anywhere. A man or woman who is addicted to sex could become adulterous in marriage. 

If your future spouse or your spouse today, don't treat sex as an important part of your beign-ess and respect it, watch it. Perverts can date your friend or just do it for the fun of it. Some men do anything to have sex with a lady, including reckless spending. Nymphs can kill their spouse when denied sex.

9. Values in marriage

Every marriage must have a vision. Without a vision, marriage partners will just be wandering. What's the value that is attached to your marriage? You are dating a guy who does not see anything about religion or don't see that there is a universal force of creation or does not see anything as force of creation higher then him, or is engaged in practices that are spiritually detrimental to humanly beneficial practices, then you will need to watch it as he or she is an enemy.
There is a need to find out who your partner really is before marriage. It’s your responsibility. Stories are out there of ladies who got married in the Church, only to discover their partners belong to the occult.

10. Mediocre and no ambition.

There are lots of men and women out there who already accept life at the lowest level. They don't believe in risk taking; don't see themselves as deserving to be rich. They see people who are rich as thieves, bad people and killers. They believe rich people have done bad things to become rich. They are not ambitious. 
Most times, people with no ambition are also lazy and will always talk bad about those who are at the top of their lives. They live unhappy and unfulfilled lives. They are going no where and love to sleep.
If your partner falls into this group, know you are with an enemy. He is toxic and will always give reasons you should not dare to think big.

11. He/she is careless about what he eats or drinks. 

Late successful steel merchant, Andrew Carnegie once stated that “if a man can take control of what he eats, drink as well sex, then he will take control of his other areas of life to a greater extent. He will be in control of his life”.

You cannot marry a dead person. If you are single and dating and your partner eats junk, drinks alcoholic beverages carelessly with anyone and anywhere and engage in unprotected and uncontrolled sex with multiple partners, he is likely not going to live long. If he takes or is addicted to drugs and alcohol, you already know he is gradually killing his immune system. He must learn how to quit smoking.

If you are already married and your spouse is involved in the above, you have to find ways to call the enemy in him to order. Be bold enough to discuss openly with your partner without confrontation.

The best way to bring a change to your home is to deal with issues with projected empathy. Instead of being paranoid or seeing your partner as unchanging, put yourself into him or her and be positive, loving, caring.

Your can also read

46 Truth Every Woman Must Know About Sex, Men, Love and Relationship: A guide for single and married

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