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22 things to do when your spouse, friend or relative upset you and how to overcome sadness

Some days are never going to be the same. I use to get so upset that my days are spoiled when I get upset. I am human and I do know you are also used to doing it.  Until we become so conscious of the fact that we need to live our life fully each day at a time, we will always use a better time for enjoying our lives instead of getting into moods that are not worth it.  Your emotional state will trigger vivaciousness or sickness. And research has also shown that most sicknesses that are long in your body are as a result of your internal feelings. 

As long as you live, friends, spouse and even situations will get you upset, but how you interpret is matters. When you get upset, do the following:


1.    Pray to raise your vibration: One of the best ways to recover your happiness and spirit when upset is to pray. Prayer is an act of talking to a higher power. It is giving your cares and worries to a higher being. Prayer soothes and comforts. So pray to what you believe. In praying, pray for both yourself and for him/her. And verbalize positive affirmations for your spouse or whoever upset you in the form of prayers to his/her hearing will make him/her also change know you are working on yourself to be better next time. According to Sadhguru, “All spiritual practices – the kriyas and meditation – are fundamentally to make your energies more awake than what they are right now”.

2.    Put up forgiveness: Many times we’re making ourselves sad for no good reason at all. People have been known to keep grudges for lifetimes (most religions and nationalities keep them for generations). When you forgive, you remove this weight off your shoulders and put yourself in a position to be happier.  Get on with your life. You will be offended by people around you especially your spouse even tomorrow. So immediately you get upset by your spouse, friends, relatives or strangers, just forgive and move on happily.

3.    Put up the “Of What Use” attitude: Sometimes we get so emotionally destabilized about situations or we are engrossed with the reasons why we were upset and why we should remain in that state that our happiness is “killed”. Ask yourself the question “Of what use should I get upset and angry? You were created a great person, a wonderful person and you are an eagle and not a chicken. You are unstoppable, therefore of what use should you be upset? Once you live with this mindset, you will focus on being happy instead of being upset.

4.    Meditate: Meditating for a up to 10 minutes with closing your eyes and sitting in a very quiet place and reflecting on good things that can come from what started your being upset will give you peace. See yourself in your mind’s eye in a way that you become happy in your meditative state.

5.    React Positive to what you can gain or learn from your experience: I have always believed in the formula called E+R= O where E is the Event that led to your being upset, Reaction being how you reacted and O being Outcome, Once you know that you want a positive outcome from whatever situation you may face in your home, work or relationship, then you are on your way to being happy.

6.    Pick an Inspirational Book and Read two chapters: Reading inspirational books up to two chapters will not only clear your thoughts and motivate you to know that the situation is not bad after all, but will also make you buy time to have your negative vibrations turn into positive. Reading up to two chapters will make you buy time and have you settled in mind and to make you alive and well again.

7.  Avoid Smoking or Drinking: I have heard and seen people who would take to drinking alcohol or smoking when they get upset with their spouse. In most cases, these negative triggers might push you into another state. Alcohol consumption as well as smoking  is injurious to your health and not a panacea for killing your state of being upset.

8.  Sleep:  When you are upset, try to get some amount of sleep as getting the right amount of sleep is healthy for our body and mind. Some argue that sleep deprivation treats depression, but I don’t buy it. I think it’s a cheap distraction that catches up to you within days. Get enough rest when you are upset.

9.   Show Gratitude:  When you are upset, be careful of what you say and interpret. Try not to complain. Many times when we complain, we can cause ourselves to be sad. Complaining is just a factor of not taking into account what we’re grateful for. Sit down and make a list of 100 things you’re grateful for right now for that relationship and before you even get to the number 20 of gratitude, you will see that you have killed that upset. See the gratitude in your relationship (and I dare you not to feel better). 

10. Hydration: When you are upset, your body system gets dehydrated. You do not need this. Just go and take water and drink 2-3 litters and see that the horrible feelings will go down a while. You should be as happy as a kitten on cat-nip, and productive as a bat out of hell.  Be happy.

11. Read anything: Take a temporary leave from reality and bury yourself in one of your favorite books. A lot of wise people have been through what you’re going through and they made it through to the other side to tell about it. 

12. Call and speak to a Friend: Your life force, support system, and everything that matters will help you calm down, And you can have this by calling and just talking to a friend. Never complain or tell your friend you are upset with your other friend, relative or especially spouse. Be positive and you could discuss other issues that will boost your energy and vibration. You will discover that by the time you would have finished talking to your friend; your mind is shifted from your hurt to other important issues that will give you happiness.

13. Appreciate and Love: Everyone wants to be heard, appreciated, and loved. Start off by listening, appreciating and loving, and it will come back your way. Instead of seeing and focusing the negative side of your spouse or friend, focus on the positive side of your relationship. You will be fine.

14. Buy him/her a gift:  When your spouse upset you, just show more act of love by dashing to somewhere and buying him/her a gift. Gift is not about how big or expensive, but the spirit is what matters. You are showing love instead of hate and it also goes a long way to tell about this issue not repeating itself next time.

15. Choose your response. Remember, we all experience bad days and we all go through our share of crises. But we have a choice in how we respond; we can choose to react negatively or in a panic, or we can choose to remain calm and logical to find a solution. Your reaction is always up to you and remember E+R=O

16. Maintain perspective and do not blow it out of proportion. You will always get upset and this is what you should understand. It is important to know, although a situation or crisis may seem overwhelming in the moment, it may not make that much of an impact over the long-term. Try to avoid blowing events out of proportion.

17. Do not play the blame game: When we get upset, there are tendency that blame it on others (spouse, friends and relative) and get more hurt and upset. The best approach might be to take the advice of the great Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. He said (in The Emperor's Handbook), "If you fail, blame only yourself, or better yet, don't blame anyone." It was true in the second century, and it's true now. Analyze; don't blame. Never see yourself as a victim. Just take responsibility and try to know and see the reason why you were upset. You can live a life of freedom from mind of being upset. Take life one moment at a time. You can become a champion only if you are willing to put blame aside and consider whether you may have inadvertently contributed to the situation that got you upset. And in most cases, you do because it takes two to have a fight and not one.

18. Get candid feedback from your spouse or friend: Sometimes, we might be clouded with emotion to the extent that we do not know we are a great contributor to the cause of our being upset. What you need to do is to be calm and latter get feedback from your spouse or friend to tell you exactly their feelings and opinion about you and how you react. Be willing to accept criticism and listen to know what he/she might say about you and be willing to take corrections.

19. . Realize you're not the first person to be upset:  Being upset from time to time is a part of life. Being upset become an enemy when you allow it to control you. If you're becoming overly upset, call up someone who has been in your shoes and is now doing just fine.

20. Make your favorite meal: Yes, go to the kitchen if you are at home and make yourself your favorite meal. As you work in the kitchen and cook, your being upset will start fading away. Eat your food and forget about that upset. As for me, it is a vegetarian food.

21. Give Yourself Some Time to Rest: Don’t jump back into the action too fast. Once you are upset, do not lose your mind. Just take some time to rest – even to grieve.

22. Start Loving Yourself to the extent of kissing yourself: If you want to go over being upset by your loved ones or even others, you must start practicing self love immediately you are upset. The truth is that you will end up living in resentment and anger if you react to your being upset at all times. Practice self love by loving yourself to the extent of kissing yourself. When you see yourself in love, you attach another kind of value to your life and I do know you can only kiss someone you love. Loving yourself will raise your spirit. Give yourself personal kindness and love will also tell others that you are valuable. Above all, loving yourself will always boost your energy and getting over being upset.

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